Category: 222 Content

Scrutineer: The ’96 election is still hanging by a thread.¹The 1996 Federal Election was held on March 2. Keating’s ALP government was swept from power, losing 31 seats. At no point was the result in much doubt.
One tiny booth on Cleveland Street has not returned its choice.²In each performance of “Keating!”, the location of the booth is that of the theatre in which that night’s show is running.
Is it Keating, is it Howard? Let your verdict find its voice.

Band: (whisper) Keating, Keating, Keating!
Scrutineer: The same name just keeps repeating
Band: (louder) Keating, Keating, Keating!
Keating: I can feel my heart start beating
Band: (louder still) Keating, Keating, Keating!
Howard: No way! That’s wrong! That’s cheating!
Band: (Loudest) Keating, Keating, Keating, Keating, Keating, Keating, Keating!

Keating: I thought no victory could be sweeter
I thought no day could dawn so bright
I thank my lovely wife Annita
She’s been out the back all night.

Don’t need no glorious procession
Don’t need no streamers to be tossed
I just want to hear this man’s concession
Howard: Well I’m sorry… that I lost.³Historically, John Howard never apologizes for anything, something that caused him some embarrassment in 2008 when he made remarks that could be construed as an apology.
Keating: And I’m the boss…

‘Cos I am, I am the ruler of the land
They tell me I’m the man
Band: who da man?
Keating: who da man?
Band: you da man!
Keating: – yes I am.
I am the ruler of the land
They tell me I’m the man
Band: who da man?
Keating: who da man?
Band: you da man!
Keating: I am, I am, I am!
All: KEATING!
[PARTY POPPERS!]

Keating: They’re counting up the votes across Australia¹The 1996 Federal Election was held on March 2. Keating’s ALP government was swept from power, losing 31 seats.
And counting down the seconds of my years
I’ve seen quite a few elections
I know how to read projections
I can recognise a change when it appears
The people make the ultimate decisions
The system says they always get it right
Though it seems like half an hour
Since I stumbled into power
Now it’s time for me to say goodnight

But still I dream
of a country rich and clever
with compassion and endeavour
reaching out towards forever, and I’m still
dreaming of the light on the hill²‘The Light on the Hill‘ is the term used by the ALP to describe its ideals and intent: that of government as a guide and a shelter for those who need it. It was first used by Prime Minister Ben Chifley of the ALP in a speech in 1949.

You start off in your local council chambers
You fight and dream until you reach your prime
And if you should succeed
By the time you get to lead
You’re pretty much exhausted from the climb³When he first became Prime Minister, Keating was tired and worn out. He frequently commented that the opportunity had come too late for him during his first year at the top. But the fight against Hewson reinvigorated him.
You only get a moment in the penthouse
Before you find you’re standing on the sill
If you’re sunk in ham and gammon
When it turns from feast to famine
Then you’re lucky if you’ve had your fill

But still I dream
heads are high and hearts are heady
eyes are bright and clear and steady
full of promise that we’re ready to fulfil
I’m dreaming of the light on the hill

They’re counting up the votes across Australia
And this time it seems the verdict is severe
Swan, McEwen, Fadden, Dickson,
Bass and Paterson and Kingston⁴All of these names are those of electorates lost by the ALP in the 1996 election.
But it’s Oxley with the message loud and clear:⁵Oxley is another electorate lost by the ALP, in this case to independent Pauline Hanson. Hanson was infamous for her outspokenly racist views. She was not returned at the subsequent election.
Bring us back our comfy bloody country⁶This line refers back to the first song in the show, “My Right Hand-Man”, only now used with greater bitterness. It’s a play on “relaxed and comfortable” was a catchphrase of the Howard government dating from the 2004 election, which has rarely been used without irony since then.
Take us back to simple days of yore
Nothing alien or scary,⁷Both Pauline Hanson and John Howard would engage in a considerable amount of racist scare-mongering during Howard’s years in power, completely reversing Keating’s policy of engagement with Asia.
La-di-da or airy-fairy⁸In the words of Rodney Cavalier (historian, ALP politician and former NSW state minister:
“His ideas agenda based on the republic, native title, engagement with Asia and multiculturalism cut no ice with the electorate at large, especially core Labor voters. In various ways, these items were seen as being away with the fairies…“
Just put it back the way it was before

But still I dream
that the stars will be aligning
as our fates are intertwining
until every heart is shining with goodwill
shining like the light on the hill,
shining like the light on the hill.

Keating: And now
We’re living in a great creative nation
Yet we wait somehow
The battle for the country can’t be won
Until we understand
How well we know our land
How much we hide our shame
Or dare to speak its name
Band: Redfern…

Keating: And here
We wander through the midst of this
And wish that it would disappear
As if it’s only locally created
Insulated pain
A shadow and a stain
A hurt we can’t reveal
A cut too deep to heal
Band: Redfern…

Keating: But oh, I know we can succeed
We can’t afford to fail
And justice must prevail
And oh, I’m sure it will indeed
With everything we share
We know it’s only fair

To begin
I think we oughta show contrition.
Recognition of our sin
And wonder how we had the gall
To think it was all OK
And never thought to say
“How angry would I be
If this were done to me?”
Band: Redfern…

Keating: But oh, I know we can succeed
We can’t afford to fail
And justice must prevail
And oh, I’m sure it will indeed
With everything we share
We know it’s only fair…
Oh yeah!
RRAAH !!!!

Kerry O’Brien is one of Australia’s most respected journalists – a six time Walkley Award winner, long time host of The 7:30 Report and for years ABC’s host of each election night special. After his retirement, he wrote a biography of Keating.

Robert Ray was an ALP Senator for Victoria from 1981 through to 2008. Notably, at the time of the 1993 election – and throughout the entire Keating Prime Ministership – he was Minister for Defence.
Not coincidentally, he is positioned to the left of O’Brien (from the audience’s perspective).

Michael Kroger is a long time power-broker in the Liberal Party, who served as President of the Victorian division of the party from 1987 to 1992 and has remained active in the party ever since. He expected a victory for his party in 1993, which is illustrated in the musical by his expression after the election results are called.
Also not coincidentally, he is positioned to the right of O’Brien (from the audience’s perspective).

Antony Green is the most trusted man in Australian politics, and the reason why anyone in Australia knows what a psephologist is. Widely regarded as a national treasure, he was the staff psephologist at the ABC from 1991 until his retirement in 2025. The 1993 election was the first Federal Election of his career, and he treated it with would be become widely known and respected as his trademark caution and non-partisanship in calling election results.

Keating: I’ve made a habit of collecting clocks¹Keating’s hobby of collecting antique clocks has been the subject of much mockery from both the Opposition and the media, and is often cited as evidence of his perceived ‘elitism’.
Sleek antiques with ticks and tocks
Didn’t you ever wonder why?
I hear the seconds as a perfect space
Pushed together in relentless pace
The beat of a moment passing by
And every face is like the moon to me
Full of hope and opportunity
Pulled in the orbit of its hands
My tide is high and my chance is nigh
I’ve got to take it and you know why
Somewhere inside you, there’s a man that understands:

It’s time! Time, the revelator,²‘It’s Time’ was famously the slogan of Gough Whitlam’s Labor Party when they were elected to government in 1972 after a record 23 years in Opposition – a government which Keating was a member of.
Destroyer and creator,
No-one gets to wait on time!
Time to start afresh,
We know we’re only flesh and bone
And so it’s precious time!
Whoa, it’s time!

The Opposition take a different tack
They wind it down and they turn it back
They don’t like to hear that sound
But time is slipping past them everyday
Just like “The Picture of Dorian Gray”³‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’ is a famous story by Oscar Wilde, in which the titular portrait ages and experiences in the place of its subject. When the picture is destroyed, all that it has borne comes flooding back to Gray.
And it’s they, they who come unwound

Keating / Hawke: For evolution needs time to move
Just like a drummer beats time to groove
And it never can stand still
Keating: The revolution of a second hand
Is the solution that I must demand
A change is gonna come now,⁴Keating challenged Hawke a second time on December 19, 1991. This time, he was victorious, 56 votes to 51.
You know it always will
Keating / Hawke: in time!

Keating: time is of the essence
I know that it’s unpleasant
But no time like the present time!
Time won’t be denied
And though you try to hide
You know it’s on my side

Hawke: It’s time!
Time to make a break, it’s
Time for you to take it,
Whip it out and shake it,

Keating / Hawke: Time!
Keating: time and time again,
You might have dug the venue,
Now you’re on the menu,
Time!
Oh, it’s time!

Keating: Canberra’s never lonelier or colder
Than when you feel the heartbreak of defeat¹Keating challenged Hawke for the leadership on June 3, 1991 – he lost, with 44 votes to Hawke’s 66.
You’ll never find a sympathetic shoulder
On any bureaucratic street
So when I must forgive or be forgiven
When all my best-laid plans have gone astray
I head down to the shores of Burley Griffin²Lake Burley Griffin is an artificial lake in Canberra created by and named for Walter Burley Griffin, the designer of Canberra.
And try to wash the pain away

In wintertime, the water cuts you chilly
Walter dug it oh so deep
And I remember Kirribilli³Kirribilli House is an official residence of the Prime Minister in Sydney, located harbourside in the suburb of the same name, near the northern landing of the Harbour Bridge.
The promise that he did not keep

He looked me in the eye across the table
He looked at me and swore he’d step aside⁴Hawke and Keating made a private agreement in 1988 that Hawke would yield the leadership of the ALP (and thus, the Prime Ministership) to Keating after the 1990 election, but then reneged on the deal.
I gave him my support and kept him stable
He looked me in the eye and lied
I dreamed that I was Placido Domingo⁵At the Christmas 1991 Press Dinner, Keating described himself as the Placido Domingo of Australian politics: “sometimes great, and sometimes not great, but always good.”
Ready for the spotlight and applause
But maybe I’ll end up like Ernie Dingo
And vanish in ‘The Great Outdoors’.⁶Ernie Dingo is a sometimes controversial celebrity of Aboriginal descent, best know for having hosted travel and lifestyle show “The Great Outdoors” since 1993.

In wintertime, the water cuts you chilly,
And I swear I see a lady with a blade⁷The Lady of the Lake famously gave King Arthur the sword Excalibur, signifying by divine right that he should be king. However, it should be recalled that strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government, supreme executive power deriving instead from a mandate from the masses.
And I remember Kirribilli
The promise that a friend once made

I want to rule, I want to lead, I know just what the people need
I thought I had it guaranteed, but then
He threw me down in the stenches of the dank back benches,⁸After Keating’s failed first challenge for the leadership, Hawke removed his portfolio as Treasurer, and Keating spent the next several months as a backbencher.
And I never want to go back there again! Again!

Time again for daring and defiance
Time to charge the throne and take the crown
And I won’t need no iron-clad alliance
To go for gold and bring Old Silver down…⁹‘Old Silver’ was Keating’s private nickname for Hawke.

“I’m gonna bring him down”

In wintertime, the water cuts you chilly
It purifies my soul anew
“yes it does people!”
And I, I remember Kirribilli
And I know now what I have to do,
I know now what I have to do.
Dooooo…

Keating: Hey, good evening, I’m Paul
Pleased to meet you all
You had some dinner to eat, now you got a good seat
See, there’s nothing wrong with being inner-city elite¹A common criticism of ALP, Democrat, Green and other left wing politicians made by those on the right is that they are members of any ‘inner city elite’ – which by extension consists of chardonay-swilling, over-educated snobs who are out of touch with ‘the real Australia’. A look at the actual electoral results of almost any Australian election will disprove this.
I’m the star of the show
You prob’ly already know
But if you’re out of the loop, you’ll be in need of the scoop
So let me recap so that you can recoup.

I grew up on Bankstown bitumen²Keating was born on January 18, 1944 to Matt and Min Keating. Bankstown is a locality in Western Sydney, which transformed from a separate township to a new suburb during Keating’s childhood and adolescence. A strongly working class area, it has been an ALP stronghold for decades.
Mum and Dad were down in the ditch and then
they had a vision of a bigger picture, and the picture they drew – it came true!
It might have taken a while – But they made quite a pile³Matt Keating, Paul’s father, was a boilermaker who started his own company with some friends. The company, Marlak Engineering, grew and prospered throughout the ’50s and ’60s. Matt Keating and his mates split about a million dollars when they sold the company in the late ’60s.
And the lesson was learned: penny saved, penny earned –
But you might as well do it in style.⁴Even when in Keating’s first job at Sydney County Council Transformer Handling Bay, he wore a suit to work each day.

I left school at fifteen, made the Labor scene⁵Keating actually left school at the age of 14, and joined the ALP a day before his fifteenth birthday.
I learned how to survive, watched Whitlam thrive
And I made the front bench in Seventy-Five⁶Keating was a backbencher for most of the tenure of the Whitlam Labor government (December 1972 – November 1975), and briefly became Minister for Northern Australia in October 1975. At the time, he was the youngest man ever to be made a Minister.

Opposition was tough
But when we’d suffered enough
With steely looks, we overtook the schnooks⁷Keating was appointed as Shadow Treasurer on January 14, 1983 – 4 days before his 39th birthday and less than two months before the election that returned the ALP to power and made Keating Treasurer.
And we shook the crooks out of cooking the books⁸When Keating was first appointed Treasurer after the ALP victory in 1983, he discovered that the previous Treasurer, John Howard, had lied about the size of the budget deficit, and that it was in fact greater than had been admitted by the Liberal government. Keating found this to be outrageous; Hawke later noted that it “became a stick with which we were justifiably able to beat the Liberal National Opposition for many years”.

I hate that Treasury jiggery-pokery
I keep my money in a piggery locally⁹Keating was half owner of a piggery that was a joint venture between Danish firm Danpork and Australian firm Brown and Hatton.
It’s funny but it’s okely-dokely
We made an Accord – Good Lord!¹⁰The Accord (in full, the Prices and Incomes Accord), was a series of agreements between the ALP and the ACTU. In essence, the government pledged to minimise inflation and price rises and the unions were to restrict wage claims and industrial action. The Accord was a factor in the low unemployment figures under the Hawke government. Keating was not initially a fan of the Accord, but came to see its value as his working relationship with ACTU head Bill Kelty developed.

Why be mercantile
If you can’t crack a smile?
And if you’re bringin’ home the hog for the drover’s dog,¹¹In Keating’s 1988 Budget speech, after delivering a record budget surplus, he stated that this budget was the one that ‘brought home the bacon’. The ‘Drover’s Dog’ remark was made by ALP leader Bill Hayden after his ouster by Hawke prior to the 1983 election. A disgruntled Hayden claimed that even a drover’s dog could lead the ALP to victory that year. Analysis of polling data suggests that he was right about that.
You might as well do it in style. Boys?
Band: You might as well do it in style…

Keating: Perhaps you noticed the suit
I think it makes me look cute
A good couturier can have a lot to say
And when you’re in a Zegna then you’re on your way¹²Ermenegildo Zegna is an Italian men’s fashion label whose products are much beloved of Keating. This occasionally led to criticism of him, as the suits are made (and imported from) Italy at great cost, but made from Australian wool.

I’m on my way to see Bob
He’s gonna give me his job
He showed a lot of nous in Kirribilli House,¹³Kirribilli House is an official residence of the Prime Minister in Sydney, located bayside in the suburb of the same name.
He sealed a fealty deal to really douse my grouse¹⁴On November 25, 1988, Hawke and Keating made a deal that Hawke would step aside after one more election. ACTU Secretary Bill Kelty and businessman Sir Phillip Abeles were witnesses. The deal between Hawke and Keating is sometimes referred to as the ‘Kirribilli Accord’ or ‘Kirribilli agreement’ because it was made there.

I’ve been a model of loyal bonhomie
It’s time to honour the deal he promised me
Because I know he’s a man of honesty
I lent him my ears – for two years!
That’s why I dress to impress
I’m on the road to success
Hey Bobby J., get outa my way,
I know the answer is
I know the answer is
I know the answer is…

Bob Hawke: Let’s go back to 1990; it’s not so far away¹Robert James Hawke, Prime Minister of Australia from 1983 to 1991, making him the longest-serving Prime Minister to come from the ranks of the Australian Labor Party (and third longest serving overall).
Where with each misty morning dawns a more exciting day
Peace and love are everywhere defeating hate and greed
And Thatcher is resigning²Margaret Thatcher, fiscally and socially conservative Prime Minister of the United Kingdom since 1979. By Thatcher’s own account, she and Hawke mutually disliked each other.
And Germans are uniting³West Germany and East Germany were finally re-combined into a single Germany after a separation that began in 1945 and endured for 45 years of Cold War.
And even that Mandela fella’s freed⁴Nelson Mandela, an opponent of apartheid in South Africa, spent 27 years in prison for his opposition. His release marked the end of apartheid.
There’s never been a better time to lead.

Here in 1990, Australia’s doing well.
No child lives in poverty as far as we can tell⁵In the 1987 election, Hawke promised that “by 1990 no Australian child will be living in poverty” – a promise that was quietly swept under the rug when that year arrived.
And all I hear across the land’s a chorus of content
Band: Hey!
And positive appraisal
And love for Bob and Hazel⁶Hazel Hawke was the wife of Bob from 1956 until 1995, when she divorced him.
Yes, I’m a hit with each constituent
And unemployment’s only *cough* percent⁷The unemployment rate of Australia averaged 6.66% across 1990, increasing in every month except March.

It’s a comfy bloody country, comfy and relaxed,⁸“Relaxed and comfortable” was a catchphrase of the Howard government dating from the 2004 election. It has rarely been used without irony since then.
Not too bloody up itself or too highly taxed.
It’s a lovely bloody system, that I try to understand –⁹There was a widespread perception that Keating was the ideas man, and Hawke the salesman – a perception shared by Keating himself.
But I don’t really get it, I give much of the credit –
I’m indebted to my right-hand man;
My right hand man.

My right-hand man’s a charmer, the smoothest of the smooth
He’s got a nut for every bolt, a tongue for every groove,
A pleasurer as Treasurer, creating harmony.¹⁰Keating became Treasurer upon the election of the Hawke government in 1983, and presided over some of the most far-reaching reforms to the Australian economy ever seen.
Also, the band sing the word ‘harmony’ in, well, harmony.

On the economic levers
And he loves all you true believers¹¹“True Believers” is a traditional term used by the ALP to describe its faithful supporters.
He’s the linchpin in my winning dynasty:
With him around, there’s not much use for me!

Of course, he’s quite peculiar, if that’s for me to say,
A little unAustralian in his own endearing way
I take him to the footy and his eyes aren’t on the ball¹²Hawke is a noted fan of all kinds of sport, while Keating generally prefers more high culture pasttimes.
And in his private parlour, he plays the works of Mahler¹³Gustav Mahler was a composer of the late romantic era, noted for his symphonies.
The strangest sound’s cascading down the hall –
It doesn’t sound like Billy Thorpe at all.¹⁴Billy Thorpe is an Australian rock singer, best known for his song “Most People I Know (Think That I’m Crazy)”.

Oh it’s a comfy bloody country, ‘cos we know what’s in our hearts,
It’s beer and boots, not wine and suits: Cricket – not art!¹⁵Bob Hawke notably once held a record for beer drinking, and as Prime Minister, revived the concept of the Prime Minister’s First XI: more or less a command performance first class cricket game.
It’s a lovely bloody system,
And I’ll lead it while I can.
Just a bloke and his mates,
But if you wanna talk rates –
Look for the midnight tan
On my right-hand man.