Do It In Style

Keating: Hey, good evening, I’m Paul
Pleased to meet you all
You had some dinner to eat, now you got a good seat
See, there’s nothing wrong with being inner-city elite¹A common criticism of ALP, Democrat, Green and other left wing politicians made by those on the right is that they are members of any ‘inner city elite’ – which by extension consists of chardonay-swilling, over-educated snobs who are out of touch with ‘the real Australia’. A look at the actual electoral results of almost any Australian election will disprove this.
I’m the star of the show
You prob’ly already know
But if you’re out of the loop, you’ll be in need of the scoop
So let me recap so that you can recoup.

I grew up on Bankstown bitumen²Keating was born on January 18, 1944 to Matt and Min Keating. Bankstown is a locality in Western Sydney, which transformed from a separate township to a new suburb during Keating’s childhood and adolescence. A strongly working class area, it has been an ALP stronghold for decades.
Mum and Dad were down in the ditch and then
they had a vision of a bigger picture, and the picture they drew – it came true!
It might have taken a while – But they made quite a pile³Matt Keating, Paul’s father, was a boilermaker who started his own company with some friends. The company, Marlak Engineering, grew and prospered throughout the ’50s and ’60s. Matt Keating and his mates split about a million dollars when they sold the company in the late ’60s.
And the lesson was learned: penny saved, penny earned –
But you might as well do it in style.⁴Even when in Keating’s first job at Sydney County Council Transformer Handling Bay, he wore a suit to work each day.

I left school at fifteen, made the Labor scene⁵Keating actually left school at the age of 14, and joined the ALP a day before his fifteenth birthday.
I learned how to survive, watched Whitlam thrive
And I made the front bench in Seventy-Five⁶Keating was a backbencher for most of the tenure of the Whitlam Labor government (December 1972 – November 1975), and briefly became Minister for Northern Australia in October 1975. At the time, he was the youngest man ever to be made a Minister.

Opposition was tough
But when we’d suffered enough
With steely looks, we overtook the schnooks⁷Keating was appointed as Shadow Treasurer on January 14, 1983 – 4 days before his 39th birthday and less than two months before the election that returned the ALP to power and made Keating Treasurer.
And we shook the crooks out of cooking the books⁸When Keating was first appointed Treasurer after the ALP victory in 1983, he discovered that the previous Treasurer, John Howard, had lied about the size of the budget deficit, and that it was in fact greater than had been admitted by the Liberal government. Keating found this to be outrageous; Hawke later noted that it “became a stick with which we were justifiably able to beat the Liberal National Opposition for many years”.

I hate that Treasury jiggery-pokery
I keep my money in a piggery locally⁹Keating was half owner of a piggery that was a joint venture between Danish firm Danpork and Australian firm Brown and Hatton.
It’s funny but it’s okely-dokely
We made an Accord – Good Lord!¹⁰The Accord (in full, the Prices and Incomes Accord), was a series of agreements between the ALP and the ACTU. In essence, the government pledged to minimise inflation and price rises and the unions were to restrict wage claims and industrial action. The Accord was a factor in the low unemployment figures under the Hawke government. Keating was not initially a fan of the Accord, but came to see its value as his working relationship with ACTU head Bill Kelty developed.

Why be mercantile
If you can’t crack a smile?
And if you’re bringin’ home the hog for the drover’s dog,¹¹In Keating’s 1988 Budget speech, after delivering a record budget surplus, he stated that this budget was the one that ‘brought home the bacon’. The ‘Drover’s Dog’ remark was made by ALP leader Bill Hayden after his ouster by Hawke prior to the 1983 election. A disgruntled Hayden claimed that even a drover’s dog could lead the ALP to victory that year. Analysis of polling data suggests that he was right about that.
You might as well do it in style. Boys?
Band: You might as well do it in style…

Keating: Perhaps you noticed the suit
I think it makes me look cute
A good couturier can have a lot to say
And when you’re in a Zegna then you’re on your way¹²Ermenegildo Zegna is an Italian men’s fashion label whose products are much beloved of Keating. This occasionally led to criticism of him, as the suits are made (and imported from) Italy at great cost, but made from Australian wool.

I’m on my way to see Bob
He’s gonna give me his job
He showed a lot of nous in Kirribilli House,¹³Kirribilli House is an official residence of the Prime Minister in Sydney, located bayside in the suburb of the same name.
He sealed a fealty deal to really douse my grouse¹⁴On November 25, 1988, Hawke and Keating made a deal that Hawke would step aside after one more election. ACTU Secretary Bill Kelty and businessman Sir Phillip Abeles were witnesses. The deal between Hawke and Keating is sometimes referred to as the ‘Kirribilli Accord’ or ‘Kirribilli agreement’ because it was made there.

I’ve been a model of loyal bonhomie
It’s time to honour the deal he promised me
Because I know he’s a man of honesty
I lent him my ears – for two years!
That’s why I dress to impress
I’m on the road to success
Hey Bobby J., get outa my way,
I know the answer is
I know the answer is
I know the answer is…