Love Potion No. 9 is an aphrodisiac of undeniable potency, and great caution is urged in its use. It is a deep black in colour and smells not unlike turpentine.
As far as can be told, it is sold only by Madame Rue, a gypsy reader of palms and maker of potions who, as of 1959, lived at a place on the corner of Vine St and 34th St (now Jefferson Boulevard) in Los Angeles, California.
It induces feelings of extreme amorousness in those who imbibe it – so great that they may feel amorous towards inanimate objects, even – although how long these feelings last, the appropriate dosage, the best-before date, and the true identity of Madame Rue (as the name is most certainly a pseudonym) are details lost in the mists of time. Lost with them, apparently, are Love Potions Number 1 through 8, whose existence can be inferred from this Potion’s number, and possibly additional Love Potions numbered 10 or higher.