“Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes

If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain

Aside from the nonsensical conclusion of the song – where the singer and the lady he was about to cheat on discover that they’ve chosen each other to cheat with, and just sweep under the rug all the relationship problems that led them there – there’s two other problems with this song.

The first is that at no point is it made clear what “half a brain” means: a minimum of half a brain, a maximum, exactly half a brain, no more and no less? What exactly are talking about here? And after we clear that up, is that quantity of brain a good thing or a bad thing? The placement implies good, but it’s hard to be certain.

The other problem may simply be a matter of personal taste, but in my experience, folks who are ‘not into yoga’ are less flexible than folks who are. I’m just saying.

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