“He sees you when you’re sleeping,
He knows when you’re awake.
He knows when you’ve been bad or good,
So be good for goodness’ sake.”
So, let me see if I’ve got this straight. Santa Claus is watching me, to see whether I’m naughty or nice, so he can decide whether I get a cool present or a lump of coal (and isn’t it time we update that part to something more 21st century, like a lump of plutonium?).
But – and this is a big but – I should be good “for goodness’ sake” – i.e. without thought of anything beyond doing the right thing. Which hardly sounds like any definition of ‘good’ I’ve heard.
No, actually, any definition but one: so either this Christmas carol contains a contradiction large enough to pilot a Death Star through, or it was written by Gordon Gekko.