Millenial Tristesse is a drug that answers the user’s longing for the Twentieth Century, more particularly, the second half of that century. It returns one to a feeling that suburban life is the most and best there could possibly be, the comforting certainties of being a part of “the Free World” and opposed to its enemy, the card-carrying, godless Commies, and music whose primary instrumentation was the electric guitar.
It is widely used, along with re-runs of “Matlock”, to keep the residents of aged care facilities from sea to shining sea in a state of complacent and compliant low grade anxiety.
Related Drugs: Ninetenicillan and Stovulax
Ninetenicillan was a highly fashionable drug during the Bush and Obama administrations. It gave one the reassuring feeling that the events of 9/11 had never taken place, and that Fukuyama’s “End of History” was actually true, with the future holding nothing more dire than the endless march of capitalism across the face of the globe.
No longer commonly in use, except for cases of extreme anxiety about the War on Terror, Ninetenicillan is available only on prescription, although rumours persist of a black market for the drug, especially in red states. It was originally created as a variant form of Millenial Tristesse, a drug that gives the similarly reassuring sense that it is still the Twentieth Century.
Related Drugs: Millenial Tristesse and Stovulax
Stovulax is one of a type of future drug designed to treat highly specific forms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Technology has now advanced to such a point that such micro-targeting of the brain is not merely possible, but a basic part of psychiatry.
This particular formulation is for people who have difficulty believing that they really did turn off the stove before leaving home. There are a multitude of such drugs, each as specialised as Stovulax.
Related Drugs: Millenial Tristesse and Ninetenicillan