October 23, 4004 BCE: God separates the Earth and the Heavens

Diary of God, Day One:

Called one bit the Earth and one bit the Heavens, but they kept mixing together so eventually I had to physically separate them. It’s not ideal, but it’ll do until I think of something better.

Also, the Earth was so heavy, I think I pulled a muscle in my back moving it. Never creating anything that heavy again. Might go for a swim tomorrow.

The Creation - Bible Historiale (c.1411), vol.1, f.3 - BL Royal MS 19 D III.jpg
By This file has been provided by the British Library from its digital collections.
Catalogue entry: Royal MS 19 D IIIIllustrated catalogueOnline viewer (Info), CC0, Link

As mentioned in:

What If God Smoked Cannabis? — Bob Rivers

October 23, 2002 — Kanye West injured in a car accident

Before his career as an independent recording artist got off the ground, Kanye West nearly died in a car accident in Los Angeles. He survived, although his injuries were not very severe, he had to have his jaw wired shut, leaving him unable to speak until it healed…

…no, some jokes are just too easy.

Kanyewestdec2008.jpg
By Mfield, Matthew Field, http://www.photography.mattfield.comOwn work, GFDL 1.2, Link

As mentioned in:

Through The Wire — Kanye West