Few people have ever wondered what happens to the various species of chastity troll (mouth trolls, pussy trolls and heinie trolls are the best known breeds, but there are also nostril trolls, earhole trolls and random infected piercing trolls) when they reach the mobile phase of their lifecycles (after spending up to 21 years in their sessile phase within the body of a human female).

In fact, life is hard for them outside of their accustomed protective environment, and few survive past the first week after their expulsion. Of the ones who do, most of them answer a migratory call that seems inscribed in their genetic code as something akin to a race memory. They head for the troll graveyard, and achieving it, lie down and die, just as the elephants of old were rumoured to do.

In Australia, the only known troll graveyard is located in the wilderness beyond Rowville, and named for the earliest known troll to find its way there: a mouth troll by the name of Lysterfiend, who found its way there in the 1920s. Justly famed among his kind for this feat, many mouth trolls since then have been named after him.

Suburbs near Lysterfield:

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