Placebos

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Dilligenz

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A drug that makes it possible to work even harder would only ever be popular in one place: the Action Center, where people have been known to have their need for sleep surgically removed. Technically, Dilligenz is illegal, but since a cabal of its users informally seized power in the Action Centre, that’s more or less a moot point.

The real problem with Dilligenz is that it’s made from the brains of other human beings. The process is as painless as anything involving a syringe can be, but tends to leave the ‘donor’ rather docile. As bad a crime against humanity that is, Dilligenz II is worse: a stronger version of the drug, it tends to leave its ‘donors’ in persistent vegetative states. Which is why none of them are volunteers.

Or not.

Actually, all of the above is a story put about for political reasons connected to maneuverings inside the Action Centre. In truth, Dilligenz is manufactured from a plant extract, and what limited effects it has are placebos.

Related Drugs: Dopaz, Jahavan coffee and Strim

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Human Horn

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Human Horn is actually a ground up powder made from human noses, which are mistakenly believed to be the human reproductive organ by some alien races. As such, it is a sought-after aphrodisiac, although any effects it may have are purely placebo in nature.

Aliens eventually stopped trading in Human Horn after they learned the truth about it, although some alien species still seek the, uh, lower human horn for the same purposes.

Related Drugs: Comatonin, Dr Flim Flam’s Miracle Cream, Electricity, Slurm & Space Honey

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NasoPRO

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A fake medication advertised as treating sinus complaints, NasoPRO stretches the definition of placebo, in that its manufacturers do not seem to care whether or not it works. If they did, they probably wouldn’t have made it from chalk dust.

NasoPRO is sold in Arizona and possibly other South Western states, is borderline illegal, and is also available in a version marketed specifically at the elderly, NasoPRO Silver.

Related Drugs: Engorgulate & NasoPRO Silver.

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NasoPRO Silver

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A fake medication advertised as treating sinus complaints in geriatrics, NasoPRO Silver stretches the definition of placebo, in that its manufacturers do not seem to care whether or not it works. If they did, they probably wouldn’t have made it from chalk dust.

NasoPRO is sold in Arizona and possibly other South Western states, is borderline illegal, and is also available in a version aimed at a more general market, simply called NasoPRO.

Related Drugs: Engorgulate & NasoPRO.

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ORGASMOR

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ORGASMOR is a legal drug which is applied as a lotion. It is reputed to have aphrodisiac and lubricious properties, although these statements are made nowhere in the advertising.

In fact, its chemical properties are not terribly dissimilar to those of Coca Cola, and all the reported results can safely be attributed to the placebo effect.

ORGASMOR is known to exist in most of a cluster of closely-related alternate timelines or eigenstates.

Related drugs: Ex-Tend, FEMFREE, FOREVER and NEURO.

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Spanish Fly

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One of the few placebos ever to be actually to be advertised as being a “Genuine 100% Placebo” – with reference made to the proven medical effect – the Spanish Fly placebo racket was the brainchild of con-man Jack McGreary.

Worrying about one’s sexual prowess is a Depression-proof market niche, something that allowed McGreary and his confederates to rake in a massive profit from selling sugar pills all over America in 1939. In fact, so successful was this racket – even at 1939 US $6.50 for a packet of pills – that the market proved to have room for two higher end placebos, Spurious Spanish Fly ($14 a packet) and Psuedo Spanish Fly ($25 a packet). Aphrodisiacs – even spurious ones – are always in high demand.

Like most good cons – and in a sense, this wasn’t even a con, so long as you were bright enough to look up placebo in the dictionary – it lasted until the con-men got bored with it.

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Xemoflavin

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A liver cancer treatment sold exclusively online, Xemoflavin exists as a testament to the desire of the greedy to make money off the desperate. It does not – and this cannot be stressed enough – work, not as a treatment for liver or any other sort of cancer.

The chemical composition of it is mostly aspirin – because aspirin is cheap, legal and also has an effect detectable by the user, which helps to persuade them that it’s doing something. The active portion of Xemoflavin is enclosed in an orange-coloured sugarshell, presumably because orange dye was cheap.